Irrational Thought Thursday

This is only the second of these posts that I have done.
I think they are fun because it really helps to hear other peoples what-if's and it can help to feel less weird to know I am not the only one with random fears and worries.
An irrational thought or fear can be fleeting or can take over your everyday.  The latter would be considered OCD.  I have been there, but am fortunately in a place now where my irrational thoughts or few and far between and very fleeting.
We ALL have irrational thoughts or fears.  It is being able to know that it is irrational and improbable that is important.
So, I would absolutely love it if you share yours below.
It could be therapeutic, funny or just plain fun.  Similar to the "5 Random Things About Me" posts from Instagram, except it is a quirky thought that flew in, and right back our, of your head.

My allergies have been really bad this week so last night I decided to try an epsom salt bath.  I know, I know, epsom salts aren't really shown to improve allergies. BUT, they may pull toxins out of the skin, they relieve aches and pains and so I thought it couldn't hurt.
I had also taken two Advil to relieve the aches and pains I suffer with seasonal allergies.
So, what is the irrational thought?
Well, the warm water felt so good (I also tossed in a minty bath salt) and my pain was going away and, I thought:

"What if I fall asleep in here and drown?"

Have you noticed all irrational thoughts start with a "What if?"

I quickly told myself that I would most definitely not fall asleep.  Yes, I was comfy.  Yes, the bath was relaxing.  But I had taken Advil, not Nyquil.  And I am usually so antsy in the tub that I read for 2 minutes, stretch a few minutes, move my neck around and then it's time to get out. 
This was my first official Epsom Soak and I did enjoy it.  The warm water did help to clear my sinuses and my skin feels great.  If the massive amounts of blog posts I Googled are correct, then my body should have soaked in some extra magnesium and had toxins pulled from my skin.  And, I stayed awake the entire time.

Alright.  How about you?
Have any irrational thoughts lately?  Care to share?

Thankful for my teacher

Last month I went to Yoga on the Steps.  At the beginning of the yoga class the instructor asked us to think of someone that has been a teacher to us.  A teacher we are thankful for.
Hearing the word "teacher" I of course pulled up the names and faces of my teachers...from kindergarten through college.  Some were great, some not so much.  But I couldn't imagine dedicating an entire yoga practice to them. 
My mom.  Well, yeah.  She was my first teacher and continues to teach me to this day.  But choosing her would have felt like taking the easy way out.
JF.  Obvs.  He has taught me how to relax, how to be responsible, how to enjoy the moment and so much more.  But, again, easy way out.
My Pilates instructors?  Sorta weird to dedicate a yoga class to them, eh?
The instructor then said to think of someone that has taught us how to live a better life, how to appreciate the world around us.
Ah ha!  Dr. S.
My therapist.  That is totally who I thought of.  He taught me how to be at peace with my mind and my fears.  I walked in his office over 3 (!) years ago a puddle of anxiety, stress, overused emotions and fear.  And now, 3 years later, I see him every few months and I am calm, confident and able to go about my daily life without anxiety bothering too much at all.  Just don't ask me to go to see The Queens of the Stoneage, k?
But that would be creepy, right?  To dedicate a yoga class to my therapist.  The universe and the energy swirling around me in yoga land may decide to get a restraining order or something.

So, I thought of him, Dr. S, as my teacher, but then dedicated the practice to me using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to better my life.  I dedicated the practice the the teary-eyed nervous wreck that used to patch herself together just to run to Target.  She needed a yoga practice dedicated to her.
I see so many posts--blogs, Instagram posts, tweets, Facebook statuses--with my peers and friends saying how stressed, anxious and overwhelmed they are.  It doesn't have to be that way.  CBT worked wonders for me and gave me a new way of thinking and living life.  It may just work for you.

 
At the beginning of this post my intention was to mention that I saw Dr. S today for the first time since March.  M A R C H!  I used to go once a week and was terrified when he suggested that we try every other week.  Sure, that was 3 years ago now, but still.  I am totally normal now!  Certified, grade A normal!
I was also as excited to go see him as I was to see an old friend.  So, more advice here.  If you have tried therapy and hated the therapist, keep trying.  Find one that works for you, someone that you can relate to and actually listens to you.
I thought I had new problems to talk with him about.  I am flying quite a bit this fall.  I like flying, airplanes and even airports.  My fear is that I will have a panic attack boarding the plane or in flight and just...freak out.  But it turns out I am using all of my CBT skills from last time just fine.  
More on my upcoming trip soon.
For now, just breathe.  And find a good psychologist :)

Back to school

I so did not plan to take the summer off from blogging.  But, besides just a handful of posts, I did.
Last summer I felt like I had so much more extra time for blogging than during the school year.
This summer, it was the exact opposite.  I don't think I had any extra moments for blogging AT ALL.  It was non-stop running from ball games to fun activities to just getting through the work day.
And, despite how society says I am supposed to feel, I am actually pretty happy that my boys are back in school.  Of course I miss having them at home.  Of course I feel pangs of sadness at time passing so quickly.  But I am also so very happy to have my own time again.  I have had my days of peeling grapes, potty training,  story times and play dates.  I enjoyed them, I will miss them, but I don't want to do them again.  The last couple of days I have wistfully watched parents with small children and realize that that part of my life is over.  It is a bit sad, but it is also very exciting.  I have two big boys that are self-sufficient and now I can have fun with them, talk with them, and enjoy seeing the people they are becoming.  They are also small enough that they still hold my hand, want me to read with them or cuddle before bed and laugh at goofy stuff.  This will be the only year they are at the same school.  It is going to be so fun and I intend to try and slow down and enjoy it as much as possible.