Thursday, May 2, 2013

Irrational Thought Thursday

Okay, so, I feel like the term OCD gets abused and overused and it is really quite unfair to those that have OCD.
You like a clean house?  Not OCD.
You can't leave your hours or go to sleep because your heart is racing and you are panicked because one dish was left on the counter?  OCD
You drive around the block 1 time to make sure your garage door is closed?  Not OCD.
You watch your garage door close.  Wait 30 seconds to make sure.  Drive away and then wonder if it is closed.  An hour later you ask your kids if it closed.  You then picture it being open, a psychopath walking in and hiding in your closet, waiting to kill you.  OCD
You see children playing in the street and worry they will get hurt.  Not OCD.
You see children playing in a fenced in yard, well supervised, and worry that one of them is going to get attacked.  OCD

No, I don't have all of the irrational thoughts listed above.  Thank God.  But I do have a handful of my own.  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is not just about cleaning or coughing three times in a row.  It can be an obsessive thought you can't shake, it can be irrational thinking that you know is silly but you still worry about it.

A quote from the book "The Woman Who Thought Too Much" by Joanne Limburg, describing the typical OCD sufferer:

 "law-abiding, conscientious, exquisitely self-conscious and excruciatingly eager to please. We set ourselves the highest standards, and we are disgusted with ourselves when we don't live up to them. We are for ever scanning our own faces for flaws and other people's faces for signs of disapproval. We cannot forgive ourselves for ever having acted stupidly; we cannot bear to make a mistake. We can be destroyed by the merest hint of criticism, but we criticise ourselves all the time."

That pretty much sums it up.

Alright.  So, if I continue with Irrational Thought Thursday it probably won't be as wordy.  I just wanted to give you an idea of where these posts are coming from.

Today's irrational thought?
Ordering t-shirts.  Huh?  
You know when you have to order a t-shirt for as a group?  For a sports team, a race, a school club.
It is baseball season and I have ordered a couple shirts for E and L's teams.
I order a small.  Unisex size small.
I have to tell the person in charge of ordering that I want a small.  When I tell the my size I always think that they are thinking "Whoa.  What?  She definitely needs to order a size up."
Then, even worse, when I wear the shirt to the games I feel like whoever saw the order form, and that I got a small, is looking at me, looking at the shirt, and seeing fat rolls or at least bunching and tightness and thinks "Yowzers.  Why did she order that size?"
I know, I know.  It's irrational!  I shouldn't project my insecure thoughts onto others, that probably aren't thinking anything about my size and aren't even listening to what I order.  Don't worry, my therapy dollars have worked and I can step back and see that it is silly.
It doesn't stop me from thinking the thought.  I think it.  But I don't obsess over it. Too much.  I asked JF.  And my mom.  You know, just to see what they thought.  And then I let it go.  Well, and then I took some pictures and blogged about it.  And NOW I am letting it go :)

Do you have any irrational thoughts that you know are silly?

Okay, fine.  Tell me...does the shirt look tight? When you see me do you think I need a medium or large?  

Happy Irrational Thought Thursday!

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love hearing from you! Please leave a comment. I will respond on this page, so make sure you you check the "Notify Me" box below right so that we can chat!