So I sat next to my Christmas tree and cried today. Now, before you go conjuring up images of sweet little Sally sitting next to her tree, remembering Christmas past and being joyful for the present...don't.
I was a sweating, panting mess, crying out of frustration like a toddler rather than tearing up over the beauty of the season.
I am going to be honest here. I do love Christmas. I think twinkling lights are absolutely magical. I love shopping and wrapping and giving and receiving gifts. I love baking and visiting Santa and snuggling my kiddos. What don't I love? The Christmas clutter! I thrive when I am in a clean, organized environment and when all of the decorations come out, suddenly my house feels like that scene in Star Wars when Chewy and the gang are getting ready to be compacted. My walls literally start closing in. But I am not one to sit back and be frustrated, annoyed, depressed or whatever. I am my own therapist! (fist in air) So, after we got the decorations out and the clutter began to take over and I started to feel smothered, I thought about what I could do to fix those feelings.
Re-organize the layout of the living room! Okay! Sounds great. So yesterday I moved the furniture a bit. But it didn't help. So today I tried again. Moving the couch, loveseat and the tree itself. Only the tree stand wasn't put together the right way so the tree fell to one side. A lot. I was stuck under the tree, pulling, pushing, but the screws in the tree stand would budge. I wanted to throw the tree across the room. But instead, I sat back, pounded my fists on the floor, and cried a few tears of frustration. And it felt great!
Along the lines of Primal Scream Therapy, I let my emotions out. And then moved on. I took the tree apart, fixed the stand, fixed the furniture, and sped to pick L up from school. In my mind I hated the new layout and was still harboring a little frustration. But, upon arriving home, I looked around and I really kind of like it.
I want to feel guilty for disliking my Christmas decorations. I should be the smiling Queen of Christmas, with decorations sparkling, not noticing that every inch is covered with something. But that's not me. And it's not a lot of people. Whether you think it is the most wonderful time of the year or not, you don't have to like every single aspect of the season.
Don't let your expectations of how you "should" be ruin who you really are. I prefer a minimalist approach to decorations, but I love to bake and share. I love to craft fun gifts for my friends and family. There are Christmas-y things that I am really good at!
What are your favorite and not so favorite things about the holidays?